I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
