Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
