Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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