Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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