There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
