billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
