Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
