ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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