He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize