i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
