I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
