I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
