I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
