Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
OPIZZABONMYDICK
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
