i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
