It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
