ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
