Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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