"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
