It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
