oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
