My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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