so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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