He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
