I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
