Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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