i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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