are you so shy because you have an std?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize