this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
