I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
