marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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