He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Are my feet made of real feet?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
