just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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