yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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