I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
