I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
