I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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