i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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