I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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