we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just found puke in my bra..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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