Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
