you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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