I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
