new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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