ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
