At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
