i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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