belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
