I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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