My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
wow bdsm is so cute
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
