god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
