If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
