Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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