You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
