): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
