My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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